Life in the Middle
It's odd that here we are in the middle of our lives and we're finding ourselves in the middle of a lot of things lately. In fact, these exact words were spoken over us this past week at the doctor's office.
'Well, you're in the middle of this.’
At first they stung, because it feels like we've been fighting this thing for a long time and we honestly were hoping it would be over soon.
But sometimes this is how it is.
It's hard living in the middle of our story when so much is unknown.
It's hard living in a broken body.
It's hard being in a season of accumulating scars.
Yet friend I've been learning something, what we do in the middle really matters.
In fact, it’s the middle of our story that reminds us how to finish. Because how we remember God in the middle of the valley, speaks the loudest in our story.
You see, any one of us can have an amazing story of survival, but how we fight with faith in the midst of it, is what strikes deep chords within others.
This makes me think of Job from the Bible. As he was sitting in the middle of his suffering with burning sores all over his flesh and the burden of extreme loss weighing down upon him the voice, which was the closest begged him to curse God. I might have been tempted. I may have even wondered if what I believed about God was really true. For Job was a righteous man who faithfully followed God. I may have even been tempted to turn away from God. But Job did something different. He didn't give into his feelings of grief and pain, but instead he chose to cling to God.
Maybe friend you are waiting desperately right now in the middle of your story for a miracle and you're wondering if God sees you.
Well, I can tell you he sees you and he feels your pain.So much that he has made a way for you, for your rescue and for your freedom. In fact, so much so that he chose death to buy this for you.
I know, because this is in my story too. And the way our family is getting through this right now as we wait to see if this thing has killed every single cancer cell or not -is we're choosing to worship God. To set our hearts on him, because waiting without this is painful. And it can cause us to believe that everything is wrong and make hope feel a bit like hurt. But waiting doesn’t mean we are passively giving up.
Just ask the parent who's waiting on their knees for their child to find wholeness again. Waiting is the complete opposite! What we do while we wait matters. It shifts our hearts and it changes us. Worship is a brave and courageous stance for those who are waiting on God for a rescue and deliverance.
It's what warrior’s do to prepare for battle. Because every brave war isn't merely won on the battlefield, but in hospital rooms and within the secret spaces of one’s heart. It's the pause a gardener takes for a wilted plant to become revived again. It’s resisting the urge to uproot it and to allow God to bring the wilted plant back to health. And doesn't God care even more for us?
I know every situation doesn't get resolved the way we want it to here on earth. Some are so precious to him he brings their healing face-to-face with him. And some days I really struggle with this. It's hard to watch others suffer. It's hard to bury love. It's hard to not understand it all.And while I may not always feel hope-full, I've lived long enough to know worship is what moves me when I’m struggling to go forward.
So, although he may take from us and he may even ask something hard of us, we will always choose to praise him. And although we may have to walk over ruins and weather difficult storms - we will walk through them with our hands and hearts lifted upward to God.
'I raise a Hallelujah, louder than my unbelief...'